Archive for FAIL

FAIL (mostly): Fermented Carrot Apple Relish

FAIL: Fermented Carrot Apple Relish

¬†I really wanted this to work. It’s such a good idea: a combination of fall foods that go well together, fermented for extra nutritional punch. It should have been the ultimate fall condiment.

The worst part is, it really isn’t bad. The flavors almost work the way I want them to, and if you can just get past the tongue twisting sourness at the front, it could be pretty good. In theory, I still think this would go well on a pork chop or something similar, but when I tried it on a hot dog I just kept thinking that it would have been better without the relish.

Please, if anyone has any ideas for how to use up a pint of almost good, very healthy fermented autumnal relish, comment below and let me know! If I get enough interesting ideas, maybe I’ll do a video episode all about uses for Carrot Apple Relish. ūüôā

Healthiness Rating: Healthy

This relish would be a perfect part of a fall cleanse: probiotics, apples, carrots, ginger… It’s really quite amazingly good for you.

Yumminess Rating: Yuck

It’s not that it’s actually disgusting, it’s just that it’s not worth eating.

Fermented Carrot Apple Relish

3/4 cup grated apple

1 1/4 cups grated carrot

1 TBSP sea salt

1 TBSP turbinado sugar (if you’re going to make this despite my rating, try increasing the sugar for enough sweetness to balance the tang)

1 TBSP raw apple cider vinegar (optional…)

1 tsp cinnamon

1 tsp powdered ginger

Mix all ingredients and pack tightly into a pint jar. If needed, add enough filtered water to cover the carrots and apples completely. Cap loosely and leave it on the counter to ferment for 3-7 days. Refrigerate.

FAIL: Yummy but Crumbly Healthy Ritz Style Crackers

Healthy Homeamade Ritz Style Cracker Experiment

 Let me start by saying that I based this experiment on a more successful Cupcake Project Homemade Ritz Cracker recipe, and if you want to make homemade crackers with white flour, you should probably head over there and use that recipe and seems to work just fine.

¬†But as you know, I can’t just make a recipe as it’s written. I have to experiment and try new things and see if I can make healthier versions that work.

I thought these crackers did have really good flavor despite my healthiness modifications, so I might try reworking this recipe at some point, but for now, it really only produces yummy and healthy cracker crumbs.

Here are some things I would do differently the second time through:

¬†1. More flour: Whole pastry flour (soft white wheat) really does not absorb as much water as white flour or standard whole wheat flour. I’m afraid standard whole wheat flour would have too much whole wheat taste to make a good cracker, so I’d be inclined to just start with 3 cups of whole wheat pastry flour and then slowly add more water if it seems needed.

2. Thinner crackers: I should have¬†split the dough between two cookie sheets (especially if I was using more flour, which would increase the amount of dough!) to try to get it thinner. It just wasn’t thin enough to get crisp and crackery in the that amount of baking time.

3. Possibly a long baking time: I know now that the crackers will NOT crisp up as they cool, so I would keep them in the oven until they have the right crispness, even if it takes longer that the official baking time.

4. Possibly replace the coconut oil: I used coconut oil in place of the vegetable oil called for in the original recipe because it’s the healthy oil that I have on hand, but coconut oil does seem to increase the crumbliness of baked goods in my experience, so it might be better to just use more butter, or lard, or possibly even olive oil.

Healthiness Rating: Healthy

Aside from the fact that the whole wheat flour doesn’t get soaked, there’s nothing in this recipe I would consider unhealthy at all.

Yumminess Rating: Kinda Yummy

 I thought the flavor was fabulous on these crackers (though that might be because I was going in with such low expectations of how the flavor would measure up to store bought crackers). My husband thought they were actually a little on the bland side. Either way, I have deduct points on texture because they were almost impossible to remove from the pan without disintegrating them.

Buttery Crackers (Crumbs)

2 cups whole wheat pastry flour (ground from soft white wheat), plus a few more TBSP if needed

1 TBSP baking powder

1 TBSP turbinado sugar

1/4 tsp sea salt

6 TBSP cold butter, cut into chunks

2 TBSP coconut oil

about 1/4 cup water

2 TBSP butter, melted + 1/8 tsp salt

Preheat oven to 400 degrees.

Put the dry ingredients (the first four ingredients) into the food processor and pulse briefly to mix.

Add 6 TBSP butter, about 2 TBSP at a time, blending after each addition until the butter is thoroughly incorporated.

Add coconut oil and blend again. With the food processor running, trickle in water until the dough forms a ball. (If the dough is too soft you can add a few more TBSP of flour until it’s a consistency you can work with.

Line a cookie sheet with parchment paper and press out the dough into the thin layer across the whole cookie sheet. Score the dough into cracker sized squares or rectangles. Poke several holes in each cracker with a fork.

Bake at 400 degrees for ten minutes, or until lightly browned and crispy.

Melt 2 TBSP butter and mix in 1/8 tsp salt. Brush across the tops of the crackers.

Very carefully attempt to remove crackers from the pan whole. Give up and enjoy your cracker crumbs!